PPTiOE 

25 CENTS 




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TSD&IISON ^COMPANY 

, PUBIISHEBS CHICAiM; 

W »l 1lturTrr li r"i i > li l I » . -m r i i 1 II 11 . in . r i i H i . r i > i .. -»in. )■ i 




DENISON'S ACTING PLAYF 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2y2 hrs (3Sc) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 arts. 

2 hrs (35c) 15 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1^ 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs.' (50c) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs .(35c) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs (50c) 6 6 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

IVi hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2Va hrs (35c) 6 14 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, \Yx hrs. 

(25c) 17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

Wx hrs (25c) 16 2 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 254 h. (25c) 7 4 
Call of the Colors, 2 acts, IJ^ 

hrs (25c) 4 10 

Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, 1^ 

hrs (25c) 10 

Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 8 10 

Civil Service, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(35c) 6 5 

College Tovvrn, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (35c) 9 8 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 21^4 hrs. 

(35c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(3Sc) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 21/^ 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (35c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 

Enchanted Wood, Wa h (35c).Optnl, 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, IVi h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

For the Love of Johnny, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (50c) 6 3 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

iy2 hrs. (30c) 9 14 

Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. 

(35c) 1 2 

Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs: (35c) 3 5 



M. F. 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Indian Days. 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, ly^ hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing Cure, 2 acts, IK hrs. 

(35c) 4 5 

Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 2J4 

hrs (35c) 5 4 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (3Sc) 3 4 

Mirandy's Minstrels (30c) Optnl. 

Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 2Va hrs (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2^2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 6 

Old Maid's Club, 1J4 hrs. (30c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

Wa hrs (30c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

21^ hrs (25c) 10 4 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose. 4 acts, 214 h. (35c) 7 4 
Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 

214 hrs (35c) 7 9 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2J4 

hrs (35c) 10 12 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2^4 

hrs (35c) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

2'^ hrs. .'. (35c) 5 5 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts. 2 

hrs (30c) 7 

Spark of Life, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 4 4 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (35c)10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 2^^ h. (35c) 6 5 
Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2J^ 

hrs (35c) 9 16 

Tonv, the Convict, 5 acts, 2J4 

'hrs (2Sc) 7 4 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2J4 his. 

(35c) 6 18 

Trip to Storyiand. 1J4 hrS.(25c)17 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2 J4 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts. 2 

hrs (35c) 7 10 

When Smith Stepped Out, 3 

acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts, 2J^ hrs (50c) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, V/^ hrs. 

(25c) 2 4 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 623 S. Wabash Ave. , Chicago 



SuMP'N Always Happens 



A BLACKFACE FARCE 



BY 

O. E. YOUNG 

AUTHOR OF 

'*Axin' Her Father," "Coon Creek Courtship" "Love and Lather,' 
"IV ho Gits de Reward?" Etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 

CHARACTERS. ^oA^^^ 

OcTAVius Johnson 

De Riches' an Bcs'-Lookin' NiggaJi Roun' 

Cinderella Bigfoot. .A Designing Young Stocking Darner 



Scene — The Bigfoot Sitting-room. 



Time — The Present. 



Time of Playing — About Tiventy Minutes, 



COSTUMES. 

OcTAvius — Tall and slender and foppishly dressed ; age 
22; black pants, skin tight; striped seersucker jacket, snug 
fitting and reaching just below waist ; white shirt ; high 
standing collar ; enormous crimson necktie ; stovepipe hat. 

Cinderella — Short, broad-shouldered and enormously 
fat ; age 20 ; house dress of cretonne, or any material with 
huge figure and glaring colors ; many bright-colored rib- 
bons and much flashy jewelry, including neck-chain with 
Maltese cross ; has on enormous shoes. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage; C, center; R.C., right center; 
L., left ; I E., first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. J E., 
right entrance up stage, etc. ; up stage, away from foot- 
lights ; down stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed 
to be facing the audience. 



COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 



©CI.0 590:-T> 2 

OCT loiy^i 



TMP92-007606 



"X^A) f 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 



Scene: The Bigfoot sitting-room; door C. zvith zvindow 
on each side of it; table R. C, lounge L. C, zvell hack; chair 
L. of table, nearly in front of door, and another R. Furni- 
ture, etc., ad libitum. Cinderella discoz'cred sitting on 
lounge, darning a stocking. 

Cinderella (solus). Oh, darn dis yer darnin' 1 I's sick 

ob it. Wisht I c'ud cotch dat ar' Octabe Johnsing ! He's 

de bes' lookin' young niggah 'roun' heah — an' de riches' 

one, tew, now his uncle's lef him all his money. I may 

git him yit ; I know he likes me — on'y he's so dreffle skeart 

ob a gal. I's got him mos' ter de p'int seb'ril times — but 

sump'n allahs happens. (Gets up.) Shoot de ol' stockin's ! 

(Throws them in darning basket on table and goes and 

looks out of zvnndozv R. C.) Gracious! Dar he am now, 

watchin' de house lak a cat would a herrin's haid. (Calls.) 

Mistah Johnsing! Come in a minute. (Beckons zvith zvhole 

arm.) I wantah ax yo' sump'n. He's comin' ; I'll Ian' him 

dis time or bus' a laig tryin'. No more darnin' ob de 

darned ol' stockin's fo' Cindyrilly Bigfut den. (Hastily 

snatcJies up stocking, goes and sits on lounge and darns 

furiously.) 

•' -^ ^ Enter Octavius Johnson, C. 

OcTAvius (stopping at door, scared). Wha' — wha' yo' 
want ob me, Mdss Cindyrilly? (Fiddles nervously zurith 
hat.) 

CiN. Oh, lots. Come on in, Mistah Johnsing. (Darns 
industriously.) 

Oct. (scared). I — I — I is in. (Aside.) Dat's so — in 
lub, all obah, heels obah haid, top obah teakittle. 

CiN. Don't be skeart, Mistah Octavius ; sot down. T 
won't bite yo'. I nebbah bit but one young fellah in mah 
life — an' he wa'n't half so nice as yo' am. Wha' yo' s'pose 
I bit him ? 

3 



4 SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 

Oct. {goes extreme R., playing with hat and twiddling 
fingers; scared). O — o — on he big toe. 

CiN. Nonsense! Wha' yo' s'pose I gwinetah chaw a 
niggah's toe f o' ? 

Oct. {stuttering bashfully). 'K — 'k — 'kase yo' c'ud git 
hoi' ob it bes' — 'dout he got he whole fut in. 

CiN. Wall, I didn't; I bit him slap on de mouf. {Co- 
qucttishly.) How'd yo' like ter hab me bite yo' dat erway? 

Oct. {aJarmed, backing against wing). N — n — not much 
— on'y des' a bery little. 

CiN. Wha' fo' dat is? 

Oct. 'K — 'k — 'kase I didn't leabe mah nose an' chin 
ter home. 

CiN. Glad ob it ! I want yo' ter chin a li'l bit — an' now 
yo' nose it. Sot down an' res' dem scrumptious new 
britches. 

Oct. I — I kain't ! Swah to goodness I kain't ! {Aside.) 
Dey'll sutt'n bus' ef I try it. 

CiN. Co'se yo' kin ! All dt young men sot down when 
dey calls on me — an' den sump'n allahs happens. 

Oct. {alarmed). What? 

CiN. Oh, des' sot down a minute ; den yo'U fin' out. 

Oct. AA'ell, des' a minute — (aside) ef I kin! {Makes tzvo 
ineffectual attempts and then sits down R. Sound of tear- 
ing cloth from off stage.) Ouch! {Jumps np and looks over 
right shoulder, in disgust, aside.) I has foun' out — 'kase it's 
happened ter dese nine-dollah pants ob mine! {Looks over 
other shoulder, turning so audience can see pants split np 
seat.) 

CiN. (surprised). Wha' make yo' so nerbous, Mistah 
Johnsing? 

Oct. I — I daresn't tell, Miss Bigfut — but I's sutt'nly an 
offle sick gal. Sump'n did happen. 

CiN. No? Did it? I bet f'om de looks ob yo' it was 
sump'n pow'ful nice. 

Oct. (aside). How de dickens she know? It was me it 
happened to. 

CiN. Sot down agin now — an' feel happy. 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 5 

Oct. (sitting). Feel happy! (Aside.) When mah new 
nine-dollah pants am a pah ob twins ! 

CiN. Dat's bettah — on'y I said, "Feel happy/' (Goes 
to table.) 

Oct. (in a sepulchral voice). I is feel happy! (Feeling 
pants. Rises.) 

CiN. Den yo' feels de way yo' don' look. Come a li'l 
nearer, Mistah Johnsing — ef yo' wants ter git 'lected. 
(Puts zvork in basket and returns to sofa.) 

Oct. I don't! 'lection's too neah now — wid a split in de 
'Publikan pahty (rises). 

CiN. Oh, come on! All de young mens sots nearer me 
dan dat ar'. 

Oct. (sidling nearer). Wha' — wha' yo' wants, Miss Cin- 
dyrilly ? 

CiN. Put dat ar' hat down. Yo' make me nerbous 
a-stannin' dar wid it. 

Oct. (putting it in chair by table). Dar! I has. Now 
wha' yo' wants? 

CiN. I want yo' ter sagacertate de pfiskerlogical puspi- 
cassity ob de whichness ob de whatisit. 

Oct. (dumbfounded). Wha' dat is? 'Tain't cotchin', am 
it? 

CiN. Dat's nuffin but de etsetteryness ob de primordial 
consanguinerty which I was tempermentally eloosidatin*. 

Oct. (aside). What a eddicashin dat gal's got! (Aloud.) 
Kain't yo' slop dem out a li'l bit slower — or else break dem 
jawcrackers in tew an' frow 'way one en'? 

CiN. Sot a li'l bit cluster an' I'll see. De boys allahs 
sots clus ter me — an' den sump'n allahs happens. 

Oct. (zv'ondcringly) . Wha' happens? 

CiN (starting tozvard him, with authority). Sot down, 
I say! Den yo'U fin' out. 

Oct. (sitting hastily — on hat). Y — yassum, M-iss Cin- 
dyrilly! Oh, mighty! (Looks up zvith agonised expression.) 

CiN. Wha' de mattah now? Yo' look lak yo's ingaged 
in silent prahr. 

Oct. I is. It's happened — des' lak yo' says it allahs does. 



6 SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 

CiN. Oh, it hab, hab it? Wha' hab it happened ter? 

Oct. Dunno — but I heard it scrunch! {Pulls hat from 
under him.) Gorrifus ter mighty! Look a' dat ! 

CiN. Yas; I is lookin'. Wha' am it? Somebody's li'l 
bustle ? 

Oct. I t'ink it's a H'l busted ; mebbe mo'. It ustah be 
a seben-dollah skyscrapah — an' now look at it ! 

CiN. Looks mo' lak sump'n ter scrape pots an' kittles 
wid. 

Oct. It's de wustest scrape I ebbah got intah, any way. 

CiN. Ef yo'd des' sot side ob me in de fust place it 
nebbah'd happened. Why don' yo' do it now? 

Oct. What! Right erlong side ob yo'? 

CiN. Suttin', Mistah Johnsing. T'ink I wanted yo' ter 
sit in mail lap? (Giggles.) 

Oct. Oh, heabens ! I nebbah'd darester. I'd sooner sot 
on a keg ob powdah wid de scahlet febah. 

CiN. G'wan, now! I nebbah see no keg ob powdah wid 
de scahlet febah. 

Oct. Ner yo' nebbah will — ef yo' sot on it fus'. 

CiN. Why not? (Sits on lounge.) 

Oct. Sump'n allahs happens. 

CiN. Yo' sot down heah. (Motions.) 

Oct. On dat lazy, loungin' wearyness? 

CiN. Shuah ! ]\Ie an' mah beaus allahs sots on dis 
yer lounge — an' sump'n allahs happens. 

Oct. {inquisitively) . What? 

CiN. (slyly). Don' yo' wish yo' knowed? Sump'n nice. 
Come an' fin' out. (Puts finger in mouth and ogles him 
coquettishly.) 

Oct. (sidling up slozvly). Fs a-comin' — (aside) an' 
heaben hab massy on mah soul! (Starts to sit, then 
straightens up and asks.) What allahs happens? 

CiN. Sot down, I tol' yo' ! (Hits him in, baek of knees; 
his legs jackknife up and he sits dozvn violently. Lounge 
bottom breaks and both go througJi, get ivedged between the 
lounge sides and struggle z'iolently.) 



m 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 7 

Oct, (yelling). Ow ! Git off! Quick ! 'fo' I blow up lak de 
keg ob powdah ! [Both kick and paw desperately.) 

Cix. (getting to feet and pulling Octavius up). Funny 
wha' made dat ar' lounge do dat erway. (Looks at it.) It 
nebbah done dat ter me afo'. 

Oct. 'Twa'n't funny, nuddah ; 'twas mighty wnfunny — 
an' it hab happened ter me afo' (rubs stomach) an' behind 
tew. (Feels of pants.) 

CiN. Nebbah min', Octabius deah ; t'uddah en' ob de 
lounge am all right. We kin sot on dat. (Sits.) We'll 
hattah sot snug, dough. (Hitches to extreme end and pulls 
skirt around her.) 

Oct. What ! Ef we boff sots on dat li'l bit ob nuffin' 
we won't be nuffin' but a quadderpede. 

CiN. I des' as soon we's a quadderpede as a filosypede. 
(Holds up arm to give him more room to sit.) 

Oct. (sitting cautiously). Gee! Ef I knowed I was 
gwinetah sit un'ah de shaddah ob a big black wing I'd 
tuck out a axidint policy. 

Gin. Dar! (Sighing contentedly.) Now we's gwinetah 
git somewhah ; I feel it in mah bones. When I's as happy's 
dis sump'n allahs happens. (Puts finger in mouth and 
ogles.) 

Oct. (leaning away in terror). Fo' lan's sake, what? 

Gin. Sot tight, Octabe; yo'll fin' out pooty quick. Now 
ain't dis bressed ! (Clasps hands, lurches over against him, 
drops head on his shoulder and looks up in his face ecstat- 
ically.) 

Oct. (leaning azvay and nearly falling into hole through 
lounge bottom.) Oh, de debble ! (Bracing hands on side of 
lounge.) 

Gin. 'Peahs ter me yo' ac' a li'l bit jumpy, Octabius. 
Don' be skeart, deah. (Rolls up eyes and smiles idiotically.) 

Oct. Reckon yo'd be jumpy — sottin' on de sharp aidge 
ob nuffin' long side ob a prissypush, wid a two-hun'erd 
poun' angil a-roos'in' on yo' wishbone. 

Gin. Don' skeer off dat ar' angil : let her roos'. Ef I's 



8 SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 

in yo' place I'd put a li'l salt on — I mean I'd try 'f I couldn't 
cotch her. (Leans more heavily and looks sillier still.) 

Oct. (bracing desperately). I ain't skeerin' de angil ; 
she's a-skeerin' me. Ef I ebbah fall intah dat hole agin 
(looking), vvid her on top ob me — it's goodbye li'l Octabe. 
Dar wouldn't be 'nuff lef ob me ter grease boots wid. 

CiN. Kain' yo' s'port one li'l baby angil, Mistah John- 
sing? (Leans closer and smiles langiiishingly.) 

Oct. (aside). Li'l baby angil! She's full-growed an' 
man's size, all wool an' a yard wide — an' dar's dat ar' hole 
a-yornin' fo' me! (Aloud, jabbing elbozv in her ribs.) Lay 
obah dar! afo' I falls f'om grace. 

CiN. (straightening up a little). Squeedge a li'l clustah, 
ef vo's 'fraid sump'n gwinetah happen. Yo' know sump'n 
allahs happens when yo' don' watch out. (Smiles on him.) 

Oct. I is watchin' out — ef I hadn't ben I'd sho' ben 
squeedged intah dat hole (pointing) an' shot de do' on 
mahse'f. 

Cm. Fo' de Ian' sake ! Cotch right hoi' ob me an' hang 
on. 

Oct. (looking at her). Wha' kiiT I cotch hoi'? 

CiN. Oh, anywha' ! Put yo' arm roun' me an' hang tight. 

Oct. How de debble I gwinetah to do dat? I kaint! 

CiN. (surprised). Kain't put yo' arm roun' me! Why 
not? 

Oct. 'Tain't long 'nufif. 

CiN. Oh, reach as far's yo' kin, den. (Finger in mouth, 
simpering.) 

Oct. (drawing back and looking scared, aside). Dat's 
mo' dang'ouser dan fallin' intah t'oddah man-cotcher. 
(Looking at break, aloud.) Well, den, ef yo'll 'scuse me, 
Miss Bigfut — (reaching cautiously behind her and drazving 
back) how de debble I gwinetah do wha' I kain't? 

CiN. Co'se I'll 'scuse yo' — ef yo' squeedge me. 

Oct. (desperately). Heah goes, den! [Reaches several 
times, gets scared and drazvs arm bQck.) 

CiN. (impatiently). Hurry up, INIistah Johnsing — or yo' 
won' hab no chance. Sump'n allahs happens. 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 9 

Oct. Dat's des' wha' I's 'fraid ob. 

CiN. Well, hurry up, den. 

Oct. Yassum, I is hurry up. {Turns azvay face, shuts 
eyes in terror and jabs arm behind her back. He rams a 
finger through her belt buckle and gets it caught.) Ouch! 
Sump'n's done happen agin. {Springs to feet and yanks 
desperately, pulling Cinderella up and turning her half 
round.) Ow ! Stop bitin' dat finger an' lef' me go! 
(Yanks.) 

CiN. {looking). I ain't bitin' yo' finger, foolish; yo's 
done rammed it froo mah belt buckle. Wait a minute an' 
I'll divo'ce yo'. {Unbuckles belt.) 

Oct. Gosh! {Puts finger in mouth while she rebuckles 
belt.) Di'n't know wha' dat ar' finger was. I t'ought yo's 
bitin' it. (Looks at finger.) 

CiN. Say, Octabius ; ain't it 'bout time f o' sump'n ter 
happen agin? 

Oct. I dunno. What? 

CiN. (hesitating). Wa-all — (adjusting his tie) yo' had 
sump'n on yo' finger, didn't yo'? (Looks up zvith killing 
smile.) 

Oct. Yassum; what ob it? 

CiN. Nuffin' — on'y I'd lak ter hab sump'n on my finger. 
(Looks at left hand.) 

Oct. (zconderingly). What? 

CiN. Guess. 

Oct. Dirt. 

CiN. No — guess agin. 

Oct. Stickin'-plas'er. 

Gin. No. 

Oct. a bile. 

Gin. Wrong dis time. . 

Oct. a poultice. 

Gin. No ; not any ob dem t'ings. Yo' ain' wuff shucks 
at guessin'. 

Oct. I kain't t'ink ob nuffin' mo'. What? 

Gin. (hanging head to one side and grinning foolisJily). 
A ring. 



10 SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 



^! 



Oct. (surprised). Oh! dat's easy 'nuff. Yo' kin git 
lots ob dem down to de fibe-an'-ten. I got one in a 'prize 
package once — wid a dimun in it big's a pullet's aig. 

CiN. I don' wantah buy one. (Coyly.) I — I v/antah hab 
it gib ter me. 

Oct. (eagerly). I's proud ter he'p yo' in dat diffukelty, 
Miss Cindyrilly. I's gwine right down ter de fibe-an'-ten. 
When I gits back I'll put two rings on eb'ry finger yo's got, 
an' toes tew — an' free on yo' fumbs. Des' yo' wait. (Be- 
gins to understand a)id stops hurriedly, slozvly opens mouth 
and looks horrified.) De Lawd hab massy on dis yer nig- 
gah ! (Drops on knees and clasps hands in despair and 
raises horror-stricken eyes to heaven.) 

CiN. Oh, how sweet ob yo' ! (Clasps hands and sinks 
back on lounge, smiling ecstatically.) Tell me some mo'. 

Oct. [aghast). Oh, lawsy me! Wha' kin I tell yo'? 
Wha' kin I dew ? 

CiN. Dew yo' bery bes' and I'll 'scuse yo' — on'y hurry 
up. When it comes ter de pinch sump'n allahs happens. 

Oct. (stuttering again). I — I— reckon it's done hap- 
pened a'ready (still kneeling). 

CiN. Wall, mebbe so. Say, Octabe; dem's a pow'ful 
hahn'some pah ob pants — as far's dey go. 

Oct. Yassum — (struck by thought, horror-stricken) an' 
dey's all gone ter de debble. (Starts to scramble up.) 

CiN. (putting hand on shoulder and preventing). Sh. 
Keep to de same sitiashin yo' hab differenshiatid. (Look- 
ing.) Whah? I don' see nuffin' wrong. Hullo! (Bends 
forward and looks closer.) Dar's a li'l piece ob white clofi^ 
stuck on dem. 

Oct. (zvildly). Whah? whah? (Clutches pants zvith 
both hands and tries to rise.) 

CiN. (soothingly, hand on shoulder). Hoi' still, Octabe. 
I'll pull it off fo' yo'. (Pulls cloth a foot or two.) 

Oct. (springing up, bracing feet and struggling C, Cin- 
derella holding back. He crams hat on head as lie reaches 
chair ^ zcildly.) Oh, heabens ! Lemme out ob heah ! 

CiN. Hoi' on, Mistah Johnsing. I see what de mattah 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 11 

am. It allahs happens when dey puppose ter me. I'se 
gwinetah fix dem pants fo' yo'. 

Oct. (struggling). No! No! I don' wan' dem tixed. I's 
done gwinetah took dem pants back to de tailor an' tell him 
de seat is unsot. 

CiN. No, yo' ain'. Wha's a pah ob pants atween frien's? 
I's gwinetah fix dem, I tol' yo'. {Gives him push face 
doivmvard over chair seat.) Hoi' still, now. (Puts hand 
on back of his head as he tries to rise and takes darning- 
needle, threaded zvitli yarn, from basket.) It'll all be obah 
in a minnte. (Seivs.) 

Oct. {tzvisting and trying to look over one shoulder and 
then the other). Am — am dey sequestriated bery much. 
Miss Cindyrilly? 

CiN. Pooty bad — but I's gainin' on dem. Hoi' still ! 
{Pushing him back) or I won't ansah fo' de quinsequonces. 
Sump'n allahs happens. Yassah ; dey's pooty badly busted. 
'Twas a Sabba'-day journey 'tween de aidges. {He leaps 
zvildly to feet, btunping into needle.) 

Oct. {yelling). Wow! Pull dat dam crowbah out ob 
me! {Clutching pants.) 

CiN. {pulling off needle). All right; de job am done. 

Oct. {excitedly). Wha' fo' yo' stick dat needle froome? 

CiN. I nebbah ; yo' stuck yo'se'f f roo de needle. 

Oct. I don' b'liebe it ; it don' feel dat erway — {feeling) 
an' 'twa'n't de needle hollah'd. 

CiN. How could it? It ain't got no mouf — on'y an eye. 
Don' wiggle so ; it's all obah now — 'cep' payin' de fiddlah. 

Oct. Oh! How much am de fiddlah's bill? 

CiN. I dunno ; she wouldn't ax much, on'y — (coyly) 
on'y she wants a new bozv. 

Oct. (hand in pocket). I reckon she's sho' ob dat much. 
(Stopping, horrified.) Fo' de lan's sake! Wha' hab I 
done now? 

CiN. (tapping lips zvith cross and smiling coquetfishly) . 
Wha' yo' t'ink it's wuflf, Octabius? 

Oct. I dunno. (Desperately.) I leabes it all ter de 
p-p-pooty fiddlah. 



12 SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS | 

I 

CiN. (giggling and ogling, finger in mouth). Yo's plum 
sutt'n 'bout de new bow. 11 

Oct. (scared blue). Y-y-yassum ; p-p-pooty sho'. ■ 

CiN. I reckon de bill's 'bout — {tapping lips zvitli cross 
and smiling at him.) Say, Octabe, deah, don' yo' wish yo's 
dis yer cross? 

Oct. No; why fo'? , 

CiN. Don' yo' see wha' it am dewin'? 

Oct. 'Pears ter me lak yo's de one wiia's dewin' it. 

CiN. I kain't ^^Vv time; I'se bashful, tew. (Hangs head 
and smiles.) 

Oct. Nebbah min'. Wha's de fiddlah's bill? 

CiN. Oh, I reckon it's — (smiles languishingly) 'bout a 
kiss. 

Oct. Oh, I kain't ! (Starts back and covers month zvith 
hand.) 

CiN. I said 'bout a kiss — ef it's paid right off. Ef 'tain't, 
it'll be free. (Smiles alluringly.) 

Oct. (terrified). D — does yo' mean fo' me ter kiss yo'? 

CiN. Yas — (coyly) don' yo' wantah? 

Oct. Yassah — I mean yassum — (aghast) on'y I's so 
skeart. 

CiN. Yo' needn't be. Des' shot yo' eyes an' go tew it. 
(Smiles zvorse.) 

Oct. Den heah goes — an' heaben sabe me! (Shuts 
eyes, flings arms round Jier neck and smacks her terrific- 
ally.) Gosh!* wa'n't dat .good! I mus' hab anoddah. 
(Kisses her.) Bettah yit ! All good t'ings go by frees. 
(Kisses her again.) Now des' fotty or fifty mo' an' den I'll 
res' 'fo' de oddahs. {Starts to kiss her again.) 

CiN. (turning face). Ho-hol-on, Octabe. Yo' done 
kissed mah breff erway, now. 

Oct. No mattah ; git some mo' termorrah. I wants 
anoddah one now. (Tries to kiss her.) 

CiN. (pushing face away, cross in her hand). Wait! — 
'fo' sump'n happens. Sump'n allahs happens' yo' know. 

Oct. (recklessly). I don' keer; let her hap! (Tries 
again.) 



SUMP'N ALWAYS HAPPENS 13 

Ci^. (faintly). Wait! I's smuddah'd ! (Pushes his face 
away.) 

Oct. Kain't; I ain't no waitah. (They struggle; arm of 
cross catches in his nostril.) Ouch! (He releases her and 
starts back, head thrust forward, knees and elbows bent 
and fingers zvidcly spread, zvith a look of agony; held by 
cross and chain.) 

CiN. (laughing). Wall, I's cotched a beau dis time, sutt'n. 
How yo' feel, Mistah Johnsing? 

Oct, Feel! Lak any oddah po' fish what's done been 
hooked. Unhook me. 

CiN. (laughing). I tol' yo' sump'n allahs happens. 

Oct. I wisht yo'd happen ter tuhn me loose. (Pulls and 
makes face.) 

CiN. Hoi' on a minute. (Releases him.) Dar ! Yo's all 
right now — an' we's regerly ingaged, ain't we? 

Oct. Yaa-yaa — yassum — but I's a pow'ful skeart nig- 
gah, I is. 

CiN. Oh, it's nuffin' attah yo's ustah it. When we gwine- 
tah git ma'ied? 

Oct. (horrified). M-m-ma'ied? 

CiN. Sutt'n. Don' yo' wantah git ma'ied sometime? 

Oct. Yassum — I s'pose so. (Absentmindedly takes off 
hat, straightens crown and puts it on again.) On'y I's so 
skeart ! 

Cm. Why fo'? 

Oct. Yo' — yo' see I's had sech a lot ob frien's ma'ied. 

CiN. Wha' dat gottah dew wid us? (Picks up basket; 
business of shyness.) 

Oct. Why, yo' see dey got ma'ied fus' an' den — 

CiN. Wha' den? 

Oct. Sump'n allahs — (Cinderella hits him over head 
with stocking basket and drives hat over his eyes.) 

OuiCK Curtain. 



New Blackface Series 

For Minstrels and Vaudeville 

Price, 25 Cents Each, Postpaid 

THE AFRICAN GOLF CLUB.— Blackface farce, by Jeff Branen; 
10 males, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. The rattle of the cubes, 
tlie burning of a neighboring- chicken coop and tlie tragic loss of 
the contraband "lilcker" combine to shatter the nerves of the dom- 
ino gallopers. But they do gallant rescue work. An ideal aftei'piece. 

ALMOST AN ACTOR. — Coontown crossfire, by Wade Stratton; 

2 males. Time, 20 minutes. A seedy manager tries to initiate a 
station porter into the the.'^pian art, but they find there is little 
inspiration when hunger gnaws. This skit crackles with fresh gags 
and comedy business. Both parts are ricli. 

THE BATTLE OF ROARING-BULL.— A black and copper-colored 
massacre, by Jeff Branen; 11 or more males. Time, 30 minutes. 
Two wandering dai-kies fall into the clutches of a terrible red- 
skin tribe, with hair-raising results. Can be effectively elaborated 
with, war-dance, etc., introducing entire minstrel troupe as an 
afterpiece. 

THE BLACK VAMP.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 males, 2 fe- 
males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam thought his wife didn't appreciate 
liim, so he got his good friend Phil to impersonate a dusky vam- 
pire, to liven things up. He livened thing.s up, all right. Chance 
for song and dance specialties. The female parts can be "doubled." 

CASH MONEY. — A minstrel spree for three, by Wade Stratton; 

3 males. Time, 20 minutes. Two travelers are forced to share a 
room in a fust-class cullud boa'din' house, with almost fatal re- 
sults. The handsome waiter is a factor in the mixup. Fine chance 
for comedian who plays banjo, ukulele or guitar. 

THE COON AT THE DOOR.— A black-and-white skit, by Jeff 
Branen; 3 males. Time, 20 minutes. The doctor's office l)ov fears 
the man at the door is his hated rival, and his efforts to evade a 
meeting are side-splitting. The white doctor blackens up and 
doubles as the mysterious coon. Specialties are to be introduced. 

A DARK SECRET.— Colored farce of mystery, by Jeff Branen; 

4 males, 1 female. Time, 30 minutes. This screaming story of 
the adventure of a negro detective and his dusky assistant has 
made thousands roar when presented on the professional stage, 
and is now available in print for the first time. 

FU'ST AID TO CUPID.— Minstrel absurdity, by Wade Stratton; 
3 males, 2 females. Time, 20 minutes. Willie, a wandering waga- 
bond without wim, wigor, witality or wittles, who poses as a "mis- 
ery specialist" to aid the course of true love, will bring down the 
house. A welcome modern adaptation of the sham doctor theme. 

HITTING THE AFRICAN HARP.— Blackface skit for a banjo 
duo, by Wade Stratton; 2 males Time, 15 minutes, or according 
to specialties. Written as a vehicle for a banjo playing team to 
introduce specialties, and rich in comedy lines and business. Very 
popular with college banjo clubs, etc., as a novelty stunt. 

KISS ME, CAMILLE!— Blackface novelty, by Wade Stratton; 
2 males, 1 female. Time. 20 minutes. Horatio, the dramatic 
teacher, finds Lucinda a promising pupil, and they rehearse love 
scenes with enthusiasm. But T^uke McFlulve. his other pupil, 
doesn't take kindly to the course of training, and the instructor is 
sadly out of luck. The blackface travesty on "Camille" is a scream. 

THE MYSTERIOUS SUITCASE.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 
males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam lias to carry Harry's grip, and 
both negroes have a laughable time trying to keep the mystery 
from leaking out. The fact that tlie\- stop to rest near a cemetery 
also gives Sam cause for serious thinking. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 



Son^ Numbers for Your Show 

Make a program of live wire hits. Prices below as indicated, postpaid. 

Complying with a demand for a series of musical numbers which 
are well adapted for interpolation in musical comedies, revues and 
minstrel shows, the publishers are bringing out the following care- 
fully selected songs, ideally suited to this purpose, for which they 
were especially written. Each number is in regular sheet music 
form, for piano and voice, with beautiful title page in colors. 

CARMEN, SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY CHARM IN'.— A novelty 
comic number with very raggy treatment of characteristic Spanish 
music. Splendid for ensemble as well as for solo. Price, 30 Cents. 

CROONIN' NEATH THE COTTON-PICK IN' MOON.— A beau- 
tiful southern serenade, rich in mellow chords and close harmony; 
excellent feature for any musical comedy or minstrel show, espe- 
cially for male quartet; includes quartet arrangement. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

HINDU MAN. — A cleverly worded and gorgeously harmonized 
oriental number that carries the weird spell of mystic India in both 
lyric and melody. An unrivalled production number, and will fit 
any program. Price, 30 Cents. 

GOOD NIGHT, DEAR NIGHT.— An out-of-the-ordinary ballad, 
characterized as a semi-classic, with piano accompaniment of un- 
usual beauty. Worthy of feature position on any musical program. 
A splendid concert number. Price, 30 Cents. 

I AIN'T GOT ENOUGH TO PASS AROUND.— An irresistibly 
funny coon song, with a blue-y accompaniment. Ever>' bit as good 
as "Constantly" and "Somebody Lied," by the same writer. Every 
burnt cork comedian needs it. Price, 30 Cents. 

OSHKOSH, B'GOSH!— A "hey rube" novelty number that is 
crowded with wit and unexpected twists in the lyric. Charac- 
teristic jo-h music that takes y^u right back to tlie farm, by heck! 
A great number for a charactVr comedian. Price, 30 Cents. 

SOON I'LL BE THE CZAR OF ZANZI BAR.— Dan McGrover was 
a rover in his motor car. The letter tliat he wrote to McClusky 
from far off Zanzibar intimated that he was sitting on the world. . 
A speedy number that will ring the bell for a laughing hit. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

THE SUNBEAM AND THE MOONBEAM.— A charming ballad 
with a novel idea charmingly expressed, and a melody with a 
haunting quality, combine to make this song appreciated by any 
audience. Includes arrangements for m^le and mixed quartets. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

WONDERFUL. — A whimsical love song that will fit into any mu- 
sical show, and is easily adapted as a double number for male 
and female. Equally good for male or female solo. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

YOUR LITTLE GIRL. — An appealing ballad, harmonized in 
catchy syncopated tempo. Excellent solo numbei', especially for 
mixed or female minstrels. Includes special cliorus arrangements 
for male and mixed quartets. Price, 30 Cents. 

THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM.— This sure-fire comedv mono- 
logue, with musical accompaniment, has been used by America's 
foremost professional entertainers, but was never placed on general 
sale, and is now available to amateurs for the first time. 

Eleven pages, complete with descriptive music, 50c 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S.Wabash Ave.. Chicago 



DENISON'S 

MINSTREL OPENING CHORUSES 
AND FINALES 

By JEFF BRANEN 

Something new. A boon, especially to amateurs. 
Assure the success of your minstrel performance. 

Get your audience in a friendly mood, tingling ^vitll the warm 
glow of pleasure, from the opening curtain. Get away to a flying 
start and make a whirlwind fini.sh, and your show will be pro- 
nounced a success, even though there may be some rough spots 
in between. Provide a relish at the beginning, make your inter- 
vening acts as good as your individual talent will permit and then 
leave your audience with a good taste in their mouths. Denison's 
Minstrel Opening Choruses and Finales are for the purpose of 
creating good first and last impressions. As such they are made 
to order and are as good as professionals ever used. 

No more will you have to follow the practice of relying for this 
all important work upon a novice who probably will throw together 
some stale choruses and call it an opening and perhaps may ask 
you to close with a simple song which means nothing. Each 
Opening Cliorus and Finale tells an original and interesting story 
and will instantly thaw the chilliest audience. Laughable, ar- 
tistic and in excellent taste. The finale of each chorus is a witty 
"thank you." 

NOW READY 

Number One For Blackface Minstrels 

Number Two For Whiteface Minstrels 

Number Three For Female Minstrels 

Number Four For Legion Minstrels 

Piano Score, Wordft and Music. 

Price, Each Number, Postpaid, 75 Cents. 

Supplementing the vocal score, a special orchestration is fur- 
nished for each Denison'.s Minstrel Opening Chorus and Finale. 
It provides for eleven instruments including effective saxophone 
obbligatos, the latter being the final word in arrangements of 
this kind. The cost of the orchestration is extra, but is trivial 
compared with the expense of employing a local or special arranger. 

Eleven-Instrument Orchestration (No sets broken). 

Price, Each Number, Postpaid, $1.50 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 South Wabash Avenue, CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free 



FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 25 Cents Each 

M. F. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 

min . 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 

Divided Attentions, 35 min... 1 4 

Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 

Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 

Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 3 

Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 3 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial Venture, 25 

min 1 2 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades, 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth, 40 min 5 4 

Who's the Boss? 30 min...... 3 6 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price IS Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 
Before the Play Begins, 15 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that "Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 



M. F. 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 1 1 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, IS m. 2 

Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 1 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, 1 5 min 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 
Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 
Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Curl's Moder, 10m. 1 
Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min.. 4 

Si and I, 15 min.... 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Street Faker, 15 min 3 

Such Ignorance, 15 min....... 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2. 
Vait a Minute 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 

min 10 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min. .. 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 
Darktown Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 
Good Mornin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Hungry, 15 min 2 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
What Happened to Hannah, 15 

min 1 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Catalogue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S. Wabash Ave. , Chicago 



1—921 



POPULAR ENTERTAINM 

Pric*. Illustrated Paper Covers, 3 



LIBRPRY OF CONGRESS 




IN this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 

A Partial List 

DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Connie Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dic'.cens. 

Thirteen selections. 
Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 60,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

,Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Cornic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous IVIonologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
.Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 




~Monologu( 

Drama _. t-m.^^ ^^m.^ m^-rm 

Scrap- Bo( 015 793 155 

Choice cpueciions, painetic, ftw* 
morous, descriptive, pros^ 
poetry. 15 Nos., per No. 85c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originalitv 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to ll years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Christmas Entertainer. 

Novel and diversified. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 

Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and' how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

IMINSTRELS, JOKES 

The Black-Face Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland,via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Larse Illustrated Catalosue Free 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 



